The dog of my life

I've wanted a dog since the day I left for college but I had no idea how much one would change my life. I would do anything for Percy and while it seems as though he compensates for a couple milestones I missed (kids, husband, that kind of thing), I can't imagine feeling any differently about him even if I were married with kids. He is perfect. He's my little tiny husband and I'm in love.

Elwood, then Percy

Dad in and out of the hospital following a quintuple bypass and pig valve insertion, vacation went off without a hitch (or fun), and Elwood died.

The following is an email I sent to those who knew him. By the way, the following day I adopted a dog. Nothing could ever replace that cat, but Percy, the 6 1/2 year old Shih Tzu is a strong second.


Sad news -

Yesterday, I came home after running some errands and Elwood, my 14.5-year old orange Maine Coon who weighed more than 20 pounds until just recently, was lying on the floor in my bedroom crying. He couldn't get up. He had thrown up and pooped all over the carpet and there was a good amount of blood as well. At first I thought maybe a cat had somehow gotten in and fought with him because a book I'd just bought ended up on the floor and was completely torn apart with paper everywhere. But he didn't have marks on his body. I wrapped him in a towel and drove him to the Vet's.

They told me he had suffered an arterial thromboembolism. It's a blood clot that breaks off from the heart and travels through the artery. In his case, it blocked the blood flow to his back two legs and his tail. His back half was actually cold to the touch and he couldn't feel anything. His temperature was 91 which is about 10 degrees below a cat's normal temp. The blood flow was cut off, which results in killing live tissue . It happened so fast. Prognosis is with 90% certainty that another blood clot will likely recur within the next 6 months. And that is if the surgery to restore blood flow to the remaining areas of his lower half that hadn't yet died off was successful. The vet told me that it looked grave which was the worst level there was he said. The parts of Elwood that had already been killed off would probably have to have been amputated and he would have had to pull himself around with his front two paws or become skateboard kitty. He could barely get around on 4 legs with that belly of his as most of you know. The likelihood of his not making it through the surgery was 90%. Apparently, he had heart disease and I never knew it. There was no choice at that point but to make sure he wasn't in pain. They gave him some pain medicine and I held him in my lap for hours before during and after they finally put him to sleep. There was no way I wanted him to do that without having his mom there - he loved me a ridiculous amount... despite all the times I bailed on him for work and travel.

I'm picking up his ashes next week and putting them near the window he monitored his little world from all day long.

My mom was amazing - came all the way up in rush hour traffic and sat with me for hours at the Vet's, followed me home to my house to clean up, then drove me to her house to stay the night. This morning she went and exercised with her friend Dee at 7:30 a.m., came home with Starbucks coffee for me, made me breakfast then drove me around all day to animal shelters to visit the puppies and kitties because that's what I really wanted to do.

Last thing I thought I would do was not come home alone today, but I am the anti-norm. So around 5 pm after visiting 2 shelters hoping my mom would meet a dog she liked so I could live vicariously through her, we went to the Helen Woodward Center - the same place I found Elwood 13 years ago. After saying hi to every kitty there, I went to see the dogs and there stood Percy. Percy is a grey and white bowl-legged Shih-Tzu who had been at Helen Woodward for just over a month. He is 5 years old - the same exact age as Darby (my niece) to the month, and is the single most mellow dog I've ever met - he just wants to lay on his back in your arms while you pet his tummy. He has yet to bark, pull on the leash or do anything destructive. He is asleep next to me right now snoring like someone I know. He loves the car and hopefully the airplane too. While I can't take him to work with me, I hope to take him with me on the plane when I'm non-reving as much as he's allowed by those I'm visiting. HINT HINT. So far, Percy has gotten me to spend more time outdoors in San Diego than I have the entire summer.

Elwood was the fur equivalent of the love of my life and every time I had to leave him behind to fly I missed him so much and felt horribly guilty. Now Elwood has left me behind and is up in fluffy heaven with Fatty, BK, and Pussy Willow taking up more space per square foot than the other three combined. He adored every one of my friends and family he met (a few in particular - you know who you are). Just wanted to say thanks for caring about my kitty.

Love,
Leslie

23 Phrases

I read this on the Huffington Post today. This doesn't only apply to couples. It can also apply to sisters! You heard me. But it's good for couples to remember as well. Especially when they haven't had a fight yet but there's a first time for everything. And stuff.

23 Phrases to help couples fight right:

"Almost all couples fight; the secret is to fight right. I've posted about what not to say during a fight. Here are some phrases that actually help.

I review this list from time to time, so that when I'm arguing with my husband, I remember the phrases that help me fight right. Recently, for instance, I was angry at my husband for showing - I thought - a lack of respect for my priorities. So I waited until a good moment (this itself is tough for me), and said, "I need you to listen. This is important to me." From his startled expression, he clearly thought I was starting a fight; but by warning him that I needed him to respond carefully, we managed to avoid a fight altogether.

When my husband and I do argue, I find that the single best technique to apply is humor. If one of us can laugh and joke around, the angry mood lifts instantly. But during an argument, my sense of humor is the first thing to go.

Failing that strategy, here are twenty-three phrases that help turn down the heat of anger:

Please try to understand my point of view.
Wait, can I take that back?
You don't have to solve this--it helps me just to talk to you.
This is important to me. Please listen.
I overreacted.
I see you're in a tough position.
I can see my part in this.
I hadn't thought of it that way before.
I could be wrong.
Let's agree to disagree on that.
This isn't just your problem, it's our problem.
I'm feeling unappreciated. [Always, my craving for gold stars!]
We're getting off the subject.
You've convinced me.
Let's take a break for a few minutes. [If you can remember to do this, it's extremely effective - especially if you're having a big fight. After a break, it's almost impossible to go back to yelling.]
Please keep talking to me.
I realize it's not your fault.
That came out all wrong.
I see how I contributed to the problem.
What are we really fighting about?
How can I make things better?
I'm sorry.
I love you.

I actually get tears in my eyes when I read this list. Such is the uplifting power of fighting right.

Also, to fight right, it's very important to respond well if your sweetheart makes a repair attempt - the technical term for a gesture of reconciliation and love. Don't rebuff a repair attempt"

Drive, Fly, Sleep, Eat

I've been flying more than usual, spending time in New Hampshire and sleeping as much as I can.

Spent the fourth of July in New Hampshire. Beautiful place on the lake with a dock and boats, jet skis, and lots of food. We floated around and watched fireworks from the dock. It was loads of fun.

Wednesday I join my girls at Gina's for pre-Del Mar beverages and sushi. Then another year at the track.

Chocolate martinis are my new passion. Picture creamy chocolate milk with ice chips and vanilla vodka. It works its magic quickly, too.

Pareee

Just returned home from New Hampshire and Paris. Didn't see this coming. I had a blast.

T + 1

The amount of time I spent on my Union is mind numbing. I look at all the mornings in which I can now sleep, workout or talk on the phone just for fun if I want, and all the days I can spend writing for myself, playing or picking up a trip and I can't believe it took me so long to realize that the old theory "the back of one is the front of another" rings true for more than just old boyfriends.

I am beyond a slow learner. Relationship-retarded is a pretty good definition for my choices over the past 25 years or so. This last one served me especially well. What I learned is that I can't change anyone, I can't make anyone else magically happy and I had to quit that addicting habit when the bad consistently outweighed the good.

It's all good.

Fanny Packs and Moms

I won't name names or anything but why do moms insist on wearing the goober-iest clothing items in the name of comfort around their children. Seriously, I was quite comfortable in my sun dress and sandals. Why did my mom have to wear a fanny pack and a jacket tied around her waist? Or maybe it wasn't my mom, but I'm just saying.

Okay, there was a mom today wearing her fanny pack and no matter how much I protested, the mom wouldn't relent.

Either way, better to have a mom with a fanny pack than no mom at all so I'll let it go for now.

(Love you Mom)

Vampire-ess (or however you spell that)

Not so sure about joining the bat lady crowd. It's this subculture at LA with a bunch of self-entitled junior steward-i and the rest of us; people my age but with kids who want to be home. Not that I don't want to be home, but it would be nice to be awake during the day for a change.

Dallas for 3.5 hours. yuck

I was in the midst of loving the ease and stress-free activities with my job. Today was different - Dallas turn with a 3.5 hour sit. I was #1. That wasn't fun. Debating my bids for next month - I guess I need to do what's best for me and bid what works - what I want. I'm going to stay focused. That'll be a first.

I don't get St. Patty's Day

There are a few holidays I have no appreciation for whatsoever.

First: Halloween. Hate it as an adult. LOVED it as a kid. My sister and I would leave the house as early as we were allowed to with costumes on and a pillow case to hold all the candy. I have loved candy forever so the competition factor w/ my sister coupled with the sugar buzz I was assured of enjoying through Christmas motivated me well into my late teens. But for some reason I hate dressing up and have since I can remember so I will turn down any Halloween party I'm invited to. I'm usually a lot of fun, I swear.

Second most hated holiday: Valentines Day. It's a day shoved at you whether you are in love, with no one, or worst of all: in love but separated for whatever reason. Annoying as hell.

Third: New Years Eve. Amateur night. Rarely ends up like anyone wants it to. This past one spent in Milan with my old boyfriend was probably the best and I can count on one hand the number of others in my 48 years on this planet.

Fourth: today, St. Patty's Day. I just don't get it. I love the Irish - they know how to party, that's for sure. But why is everything green? And if you don't go out that night you're considered no fun.

That's all the holidays I'll take down for now. I'm sure I'll have more later... I always do!

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

Stag Nation is wearing me out

I've been off work for nearly a month and it's killing me. I'm trying to be productive during this final week of recouping from surgery but Oh My God it's painful.

I've pulled out my scrapbook stuff (never thought I'd do that again) and even got my taxes ready to send off tomorrow.

During this past month I've:

1. Had my knee operated on
2. Attended a funeral for a friend who committed suicide
3. Crashed my car
4. Found my old friend Kerry from 20 years ago
5. Bought tickets for Lenny Kravitz in Paris this May
   
6. Shopped too much
7. Transferred from New York to LA to Domestic
8. ...And broke up with my boyfriend of several years

Long distance relationships suck.

I feel like I lost my best friend

Just slammed my car into the side railing on my way home from my sister's. When is this crap going to get better?

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

hanging up the politics for now

It has been way too long since I updated this thing. Four months actually since the presidential election ended and it seems like a lifetime ago.

I've been spending ridiculous amounts of time on Facebook while my knee lags behind trying to recover from arthroscopy earlier this month. I'm hoping to get back on the plane in ten or so days even though I'm now flying domestic out of LA instead of international out of NYC. Being grounded doesn't work for me. I don't know how the union work kept me from leaving much sooner than following a nine-year stint. In any event, domestic is going to take some adjusting to. We'll see how it all goes.

With nothing keeping me tied down anymore - it's just Elwood and me - I'm up for just about anything. I feel change brewing.

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]